Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The Little Red Stick..Who Knew?

Prior to moving into our new house, there was a post office down the road from where we use to live. I passed the post office everyday which was very convenient when items needed to be placed in "snail mail". Well, when we moved into our new house, I had to give up that convenience.

So each time that I had documents to mail, I would take them to work (I work at the Atlanta Airport approximately 25 minutes away) and give them to our administrative assistant to be placed in the daily mail.

One day a co-worker came into my office and asked what I was doing as I had several pieces of mail on my desk that I was placing stamps on. I proceeded to tell the story of how the post office is no longer convenient so I have to bring my mail to work so that it can be mailed out. She asked, "Why don't you just place it in your mailbox?" My thought was, "Why would I place mail in the mailbox?" Noticing the confused look on my face, she replied, "Place it in the mailbox and lift the little red stick." The light bulb went on and I replied, "Oh that's what that is for?" She immediately fell to the floor in laughter.

Let me explain. I grew up in Detroit. Whenever my parents needed items mailed, they sent us to the corner of Forest and Seminole to place the mail in the blue mailbox. I had no idea that you could place mail in your own personal mailbox and the mail carrier would retrieve it for you. What a novel idea!

Of course, I then needed to test this new found information. I went home that night and found anything that I could mail. I didn't care what it was. I carefully placed it in the mailbox and lifted the little red stick. The next day when I arrived home from work I immediately ran to the mailbox to see if the mail was gone. Sure enough, it was! For the next several days, I kept mailing items just because. Who knew that you could do that?

Okay, here is the kicker. One Saturday, I had forgotten to place a piece of mail in my mailbox for pick up. As I turned into my subdivision, I noticed that the mail carrier had just passed my house. I drove up quickly and placed the mail in the box and lifted my little red stick in the hope that the mail carrier would see that I forgot a piece of mail and would return to retrieve it. No such luck. That lonely piece of mail sat in the mailbox all weekend. I have learned that you have one shot to get the mail retrieved out of the box. Otherwise, it will have to wait.

Ever notice how some individuals can grasp the most complex ideals, yet have trouble with simplicity? That's me! Not to worry, now my little red stick gets a weekly work out.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006


Today, my daughter woke us up with her cries of wetness and hunger at about 6 am. I am truly blessed, in that, my daughter has slept through the night since she came home from the hospital. We put her to bed at around 11:30 p.m. and she will sleep until 6:00 a.m. BLESSED! BLESSED! BLESSED!

Well this morning during her bath she had a runny nose so I immediately sought the infant nasal aspirator. Think about this. Someone invented a device that has a pointed end designed for the sole purpose of removing mucus from an infant's nasal cavity. I gently tried to explain to my 10 week old daughter that this was necessary to aid in her breathing. However, she did not understand and began to scream at the top of her lungs. Women will appreciate this next statement. I believe this device was designed by the same individual who invented the cold metal object used during a yearly examination. Just cruel and unusual punishment. Definitely a violation of our nation's constitution.

I kept sticking the device in her nose in an effort to clear her passages. With each insertion, she screamed louder. Finally, relief came when the last of the mucus cleared her nose. Bless her little heart. She is being a trooper while I learn the ins and outs of motherhood.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!

Imagine if you will a trip to your doctor's office. You make an appointment for your yearly examination and arrive at the office according to your appointment time. You complete the paperwork and calmly wait for the nurse to call you back to the exam room. Most women know that whenever you go to the doctor's office you must provide a urine sample. I complied with the request and placed the cup in the service window in the bathroom.

Shortly after, the nurse directs me into the doctor's office. Not the exam room--the doctor's physical office. He sits at his desk and begins to read my chart and our conversation goes like this:

Dr: So it looks like you are due in April.
Dayna: Uh, due for what?
Dr: You're pregnant.
Dayna: Well how did that happen?
Dr: You don't know how it happened?
Dayna: I mean I know HOW it happened. But I don't know how it happened. I only missed one ortho erva patch.

I left the office with a packet of information regarding pregnancy progress, magazines on parenting, and an extremely confused look on my face. Nonetheless, I shared the wonderful news with my husband who was gleeful and giddy for days and weeks to come.

Everyone was very excited--my mom, sisters, nephews and niece. My father was concerned with the due date rather than the annoucement.(For you math wizards out there-- she was born at 38 weeks)

My pregnancy progessed well and Lewis and I debated about the due date. I insisted that the baby would be born in April and he insisted that she would be born in March. We had five dollars riding on this bet. With no help on winning my bet from my midwife, Taylor LaNyse entered the world on March 20, 2006 at 2355 hours. Needless to say, I lost my five dollars but gained a wonderful addition to our family. Do you honestly think that I am going to give Lewis five dollars? I am still waiting for my midwife to give it to me. Really this is all her fault. I could have waited until April but she wanted to meet her little baby.

History Lesson

I am sure that many of us recall the story of Snow White and how the prince came to save her. Well--my prince, Lewis, saved me and on June 25, 2005 made me his bride. If you recall the story of Snow white, she and the prince rode off into the sunset on a beautiful white horse. Lewis drove me into the sunset also after our wedding reception. What's next? Who knows? The movie of Snow White ends and the credits begin to roll. WHAT ON EARTH AM I TO DO NOW?

On Sunday, June 26, 2005, I woke up next to my husband and thought to myself, "I am no longer the bride, just this man's wife." And exactly how am I supposed to be a wife? I don't know. The movie ended and there was never a sequel. Did snow white have to pick up after prince charming? Does prince charming leave the toliet seat up? I am sure that Prince Charming's socks did not give off a pungent aroma of sweat after playing basketball, cutting the lawn or working out. Who tells us these things as little girls?

And poor prince charming. Did snow white come home from work one day and annouce, "Hey honey, I found a job in Sacramento, California and I have to report in two weeks." Who even discussed moving to Sacramento and what prompted this? Okay, so prince charming may not have thought that but I am sure that Lewis does. If he only knew how whimisical I truly was, June 25, 2005 may not have ever happened. Thank God, I was able to hide it.

Just one more thing. Does anyone recall anywhere in the movie where Snow White dealt with a serious case of flatulence? I mean honestly, what is a girl to do after consuming broccoli as a side dish and on her salad?

Name Choice

Many of you may wonder where I got the name "Wiferhood". As you have probably guessed, it is a combination of wife and motherhood. I chose that name because many people are currently experiencing "wiferhood"--however, for those who know me it is hilarious to see me in this current position.

Stick around long enough and you will find that Dayna, wife and mother is truly an oxymoron. (It's like saying the fat skinny lady!)