From the PH to the ATL

10 months ago, I came to Port Huron, MI for my yearly visit. What should have been a two week visit turned into a life changing, for the better, journey.

Port Huron holds a lot of memories for me as I was married here and my son was born here. It is a quaint town where neighbors speak to one another and children ride their bikes to school. The boardwalk is peaceful and serene giving you a place to sit and clear your mind.

Of course when people learned that I was moving back to Atlanta, I received the same reaction over and over again. The phrase, "But you hated living in Atlanta" was the common theme from everyone. True, at the time I lived in Atlanta, I hated it. I was so miserable and for 4 years, I constantly spoke of how all the bad things that happened to me while living in Atlanta happened because I moved to Atlanta. Well, of course that is not true. Neither my former employer, the city of Atlanta, nor the state of Georgia were to blame for my dysfunction. Imagine my surprise when I learned that the source of my emotional dysfunction was me. (Shocking reveal I know- HA!)

Identifying and addressing my emotional dysfunction, as I like to call it, was paramount to me experiencing true freedom and happiness. Today, that is where I am. While Phoenix will always feel like home to me, I can live anywhere because the place is not the determinant of my lot in life. I am.

The hardest part about returning to Atlanta is that I will always be remembered and viewed as that awful, hateful, spiteful funk bucket of a person that I was. I often equate my recovery to that of an addict. While using, the addict is unaware of the hurt she is causing. When she sobers up, she can clearly see the path of destruction. No matter how many apologies she gives or the length of her sobriety, she will always be viewed as an addict. That is me. People will always see me as that hateful person. They will not see the happy, emotionally healthy woman that I have become. Returning is actually a sign of my growth and maturity. In some ways, things would have been easier had I decided to move to Podunk America because no one there would know the old Dayna~only the emotionally healthy Dayna. We are not always given a second chance to right a wrong.


No matter what the future holds, I am looking forward to embracing it with joy and my children by my side. This is an adventure. A new beginning. A fresh start.